I Cannot Close My Door

2016, papers, fabrics, threads, strings, etchings, photos, gouache, ink, wool, metal, bits of drawings by Arthur, Noah, and Jacob, 83 x 36 inches. 

Since I have started sewing with a sewing machine, I have WAY more scraps than I used to have.  I save them in a big bag.  I wanted to sew them all together and use them up.  Unfortunately, this is a lot easier said than done.  When things get too bulky on the machine, they bunch up and rip. I also didn’t like this looked like at all.  I thought it was all too ugly and trite for words.  I also wanted to finish my quilt instead. In the end, I put this onto my office door which was perfectly fitted for it.  It remained there for months and months.  No one was careful of it.  It got slammed open and closed and pulled and pushed.  Finally I moved it out into my studio where I have ignored it for 2 years at least.  This year I accepted that I should sort it out, so I finished sewing it together, glued some, and painted the super ugly bits over with white. White gives the artwork texture which says as much to me  as colour does.  Even though “I Cannot Close My Door”  is a bit of a throw back to my white woven pieces 20 years ago, I don’t mind. This style of making art is in my psyche, and that “door” will always be open.  I have still grown and changed though.  This woven style artwork is mostly sewn, not glued, it is not a perfect rectangle, nor is there a perfect grid contained within.  There are ugly and dirty bits, but it is still beautiful.  This “door” is perfectly my size.  Though I may have tried, I could not possibly shut it.  My children will always be allowed in.